I feel like I’ve blogged way too much about Facebook as of late, but there always seems to be a new angle to explore. I’ve complained before about Facebook suggesting you friend people…sometimes the annoyance of friend suggestions are as simple as being suggested to friend someone who was mean to you in high school. But sometimes facebook asks you to friend people who have abused you in some way. It makes using facebook a little less desirable because friendship suggestions are based on mutual friendships–not on interests or something else that would be way more helpful in my opinion.

Recently, a woman wrote in the NY Times that facebook had suggested she friend a guy that raped her as a pre-teen.

Thirty-eight years later, I browsed through the Facebook friends of the boy who was the first to rape me, noticing names I remembered from high school. In his recent photos were snapshots of a boy with his nose and a pretty teenage girl with long silky hair parted in the middle. He gripped a beer while his belly drooped over his jeans. I found some older photos of his wedding, him with a pretty young bride.

So I went back to his profile page and typed a private message: “I hope that night has haunted you. I was naïve and a virgin. I see you have a teenage daughter now. Better keep her safe from guys like you.”

I wanted to hate him and hurt him but realized that the only way to be free was to let it all go. When I defriended him I felt strong. The past was the past, and my mouth wasn’t covered anymore.

It’s a pretty powerful story, I’d suggest everyone read the whole thing.

When social media first took off, all folks talked about is how disconnected we were becoming. And the end result seems to be the opposite–we can’t leave things and people behind anymore no matter how hard we try!! Unless, of course, we choose not to participate in a part of society that may happen online but has very real life incentives in addition to the consequences.

Sidebar: Some of the commenters blamed the writer for not telling the man’s wife he was a rapist. I’m not so sure about that…mainly because I believe that women who are involved with those kinds of men often are already aware, assuming he hasn’t changed in all those years. I’m not sure. It was on my mind, though.